Friday, June 15, 2007

Spiderman 3

Spoilers beware, but really this movie sucks so bad, it shouldn't matter if I "ruin" it for you. I think this movie proves that restraint when writing is crucial. Three outside villains, a personal struggle against evil, and another woman. That's like 8 movies, not one almost THREE hour long movie. As a result, none of these plots were well explained. What happened with Gwen? Where did the black stuff come from? Why does it hate vibrations? Why did it wait to make a move until an hour into the movie? And why did it only affect the Spiderman suit at first? Why was Topher Grace's character such a jerk? Why did Kirsten Dunst just forgive him? Didn't she care that he HIT her in public? And she forgave Harry quickly too? And why, in the name of all that is holy, did the butler suddenly walk into the secret room and tell Harry about his father's wound? The butler couldn't have mentioned this earlier? And Harry suddenly decided to believe him and put down the vendetta? And his father's spirit just went away? And who is inheriting all that money??
I've got a billion plot questions left from that awful movie. But to be fair, the first hour would have been a great movie. Kill the sandman. Be upset about it. Wam, bam, thank you writers, done. I even think it'd have been cool to show Topher Grace get the black stuff and then end the movie there. We come back for Spiderman 4 where there'd be some more development of Harry. The butler's revelation could have been less of a random aside, and they, together, could have had the end battle scene that was mediocre. (Um, the Sandman just goes away? That makes zero sense) In exchange, they could have explained a bit more in Spiderman 3 and put in more jokes.
Despite the bad reviews, I went to see this in the theater thinking that the battle scenes and the special effects would make this worth seeing on the big screen. Yeah, I was wrong. Wait for it to come out on DVD, pay the rental to see the movie, and hate it for cheaper.